After reading Barking to the Choir by Father Greg, I would have felt /responded differently to a recent event that left me feeling unsettled and dissatisfied.
At a social event, when a retired oil company engineer learned I taught leadership, he launched into an “explain this” discussion about evil leadership, specifically Hitler and Stalin. Citing the statistics of how many people Stalin let starve, he announced he was a much worse leader than Hitler. Letting me know he had read a lot about this, he described these leader’s strengths. And then he insisted I explain what makes men like that – who does things like that?
This kind of leader is not limited to Europe in recent times, I assured him. And since he lived in Africa for awhile, I mentioned African leaders who were tried for war crimes like Charles Taylor in Liberia and horrific events like the genocide in Rwanda. He responded with a blank stare.
So I moved on to Cambodia’s Khmer Rouge and Mao and Jiang Quin’s Cultural Revolution in China. More blank stare.
As a last foray into “more bad leadership”, I mentioned what “we” did to the Native Americans in our country, fully expecting a rejoinder. More blank stare.
Apparently, his worldview of evil leadership is bounded by area – Europe – and time period – the 1900’s.
I suggested he ask a psychotherapist or psychiatrist that question, as it was outside my field.
On reflection, I was not satisfied with my response. I backed out of the apparently fruitless conversation, as I didn’t want to go down a rabbit hole with him. Since reading Fr. Greg’s book, I have a “compassionate” way to respond.
REFLECT:
Is there a time you were dissatisfied with your part in an emotional conversation?
Especially about the current political situation?
Gregory Boyle, a Jesuit priest and down-to-his-toes conscious leader, founded and leads Homeboy Industries, the largest gang intervention program in the world. Fr. Greg has buried over 220 homies and home girls.
Fr. Greg’s intention is to put a human face on the evil gang member stereotype. He does this with homilies that range from heartwarming to heartbreaking – told with unconditional love and compassion – and spiced with warm humor. His stories are interwoven with Christian and Buddhist tenets in practical, applicable ways. I laughed, cried, and reflected while I read it.
Dr. Greg mixes the uplifting, realistic and saddening side of gang members lives with stories like these:
During CPR training, a totally tattooed homegirl is instructed to yell and scream at a dummy – to awaken it – before giving mouth-to-mouth. Instead, she starts rifling through the pockets. When the instructor asks what she’s doing, she responds: “I think robbing her will wake her up faster than screaming at her.”
At the end of the book, Fr. George says:
Over the years, I have learned countless things from the homies. In endless ways they have altered my heart and saved my life. But one of the most important and life-changing things they have taught me is how to text.
He goes on to discuss his texting gains – like learning OHN (oh hell no) and texting errors from auto-correct (like changing nuns to ninjas).
And he tells this story:
In a car with two homies, he hears a text ping and asks what it is
“Oh nothing. It’s stupid. It’s from Snoopy, back at the office.”
Well, what’d he say?”
“Hey dog it’s me. Snoops. Yeah, they got my ass locked up at County Jail. They’re charging me with being the ugliest vato in America. YOU have to come down right now. Show ‘em they got the wrong guy.”
These two homies were from rival gangs who used to shoot at each other. Now they shoot humorous texts to each other.
With his decades of experience, Fr. Greg is continually asked to be an expert witness in gang trials. But he will only testify in death penalty cases, because he deeply opposes it and tries to give the jury a compassionate context about why the defendant became a gang member.
He says each prosecutor usually follows the same blueprint:
* establish they like or respect him
* ask about choice – the defendant’s freedom to choose their actions and be responsible for them
* present an unspeakable act in gruesome detail, often with photos
* try to get him to denounce the defendant / crime as evil
Fr. Greg responds that not all choices are created equal. The choice to join a gang is usually made for the person, as a matter of geography, poverty, family, etc. – not morality. He goes on to make statements like:
Imagine how bleak and dark one’s despair would have to be to do such a thing.
Imagine how damaged and traumatized you’d have to be to do such a thing.
I can’t even fathom how mentally ill a person would have to be to do such a thing.
He talks about James Holmes who shot and killed 12 people in a Colorado movie theater. During sentencing, his mother said, “Schizophrenia chose him. He didn’t choose it. I still love my son.”
REFLECT:
What choices were made for you in your life – depending on where / how / when you were raised, your character traits, innate abilities…?
Did you choose to be a leader?
How were you prepared for the role?
I am grateful to Fr. Greg for modeling being a compassionate leader, listener and communicator, and for providing a compassionate framework for me about “evil” actions. Now, I say to myself and others:
I can’t imagine how —-mentally ill – traumatized – depressed – etc —- a person would have to be to do such a thing.
APPLY:
Say this compassionate sentence mentally when you are being judgmental:
I can’t imagine how — frightened, frustrated, overwhelmed, ashamed… a person would have to be to do such a thing.
Barking to the Choir, The Power of Radical Kinship, Gregory Boyle, Simon and Schuster, New York, 2017
