As a student of intentional / conscious language for decades, the new trends are interesting to track. I’m always reminded of the huge controversy over unisex bathrooms decades ago – when Gloria Steinem sagely stated, “There’s a unisex bathroom in every airplane”.
In alignment with gender-free language in leadership, I had staff (not women and men), leads and chairs (not chairmen/persons), service to humankind (not mankind), etc. I also use a substitution strategy. I ask myself, “Would I say the same thing to a different gender- age – culture – economic status – education level – etc. person? If so, is that limiting or empowering for them?
Note: political correctness (PC) is intended to avoid offense and often rooted in fear of criticism, while Conscious Language often arises from compassion. (Interesting note: I often find people speak more compassionately to their dogs than their co-workers, partners and children.)
REFLECT:
How can you use conscious language in leadership?
What do you want to model to others through your language?
I also ask myself, “When has this gone too far for my comfort zone?” For instance, as a professor at the graduate level, I am required to take updated equity training regularly. The last module addressed issues around having a ,pregnant student – including appropriate accommodations. It included acceptable language – and specifically barred congratulatory statements, as it might be an unwanted pregnancy. I’m still processing that directive and have not decided how to act on it. Fortunately, I haven’t been in a situation that required me to decide!
To address current issues in conscious language, Author Karen Yin has written The Conscious Style Guide, a Flexible Approach to Language that includes, Respect and Empowers. In it, she says:
Conscious language liberates instead of limits. It is language that a promotes equity. Conscious means aware, mindful, and intentional. Equity means fair.
Nonetheless, she rejects “do’s and don’t’s” – opting instead for factoring in context and gray areas.
See www.ConsciousStyleGuide.com
Yin’s book is presented in a strategic format: Prepare, Plan, Practice, Pause, Persuade, It is simple, straightforward and thorough. For instance, It covers two very subtle ideas I have not mastered: person-first and identity-first language. For person first, you personalize the noun by putting the person ahead of it in the statement: a co-worker with an alcohol addiction (in place of an alcoholic co-worker): a staff member who is disabled (in place of a disabled staff member. For identity-first language, you put the identity ahead in the statement: an employee with ADD (not an ADD employee), a team member with diabetes (not a diabetic team member). Honestly, I don’t feel these rearranged statements register any differently with me, but they may on an unconscious level. I may weigh the condition more heavily than the humanity of the person.
What I don’t see addressed in conscious language is the power – the up-down ways of establishing “who’s on top”. At a Chamber of Commerce function this week at a the local Elks club, the leader was introduced as the Grand Exalted Ruler. Though clearly a historical designation, it felt overly formal and made the leader appear unapproachable. He asked anyone interested in learning more ablest Elks to come chat with him, but none did. It could’ve been because nobody was interested, of course, But I wonder if that intro had been followed with, “We call him Ken”, to add lightness and approachability – if the outcome would have been different.
For years in the classroom, I struggled with being called “Doctor”. Though it respects my academic accomplishments, it feels too formal for my participatory style. I settled on identifying as Dr. T, a combination of authority and informality. It’s interesting to observe who can adapt to the title, who continue with Doctor Mahaney, who settle on Professor, and the occasional Alpha Male who calls me Teri – to establish his authority.
I’d enjoy seeing a book on power-sharing language for leaders. There are innumerable studies on power and language in various fields, including leadership, but nothing on power-sharing language. This is a necessary skill in a time that stresses employee empowerment and engagement.
For power sharing language, I
* use “we” a lot
* ask for staff / team members’ opinions and suggestions
* give LOTS of praise based on performance
* give credit to those who have better ideas / catch errors
A mentor of mine, a Human Resources professional, had an interesting strategy of having an error in every memo / report / etc. he sent his staff. He asked for feedback and then praised the correctors. He said it served several purposes: it saved him time being right / perfect / complete: it removed the burden of being the invincible boss / leader: it assured the staff read each document carefully in place of scanning it: it created engagement: it led to team building. However, when I have tried it, I most often get seen as less competent (gender bias?).
APPLY:
“Normalize” being unsure of appropriate language by:
* knowing you won’t always “get it right”
* correcting yourself when you feel you have misspoken
* asking others for feed
The Conscious Style Guide, Karen Yin, Little, Brown Spark, New York 2024.
